Being the "other" is a fairly new concept for me. While I've never liked being referred to as "the other daughter", I'm accustomed to the label of "the other Fed Fund trader", "the other parent volunteer" or "the other Sunday School teacher" and I'm certainly proud of the fact that I've never been "the other woman" or "the other wife".

But do I want to be the "other" when it implies that I'm somehow less trustworthy, less American - even less human? I read Nicholas D. Kristof's excellent editorial titled "The Push to 'Otherize' Obama" with equal parts horror and dismay. While I realize that politics is a dirty game, the latest dirty tactic of "turning the candidate into a Muslim, maybe even the Antichrist" strikes me as wrong on so many levels that I'm left speechless.

Now that I've taken a deep breath and digested the implications of the current social environment in which the "M" word is the new "N" word, I realize that I can't afford to be speechless any longer. Being identified as a Muslim is now officially considered a smear. Why should I have to speak out against this new form of religious prejudice? Well, if I don't, then I can't blame anyone for misunderstanding me. And there's plenty of willful misunderstanding going around these days.

The human tendency to "otherize" those whom we fear is nothing new, historically speaking. We just have to examine our treatment of Native Americans, African-Americans, Japanese during WWII, Jews, Catholics, each successive wave of immigrants - the list is a long one and unfortunately growing longer by the day. So it seems that today it's the turn of Muslims to receive this "preferential" treatment - this time singled out as a religious group based upon the extremism of a few fanatics.

Identity is a combination of how we see ourselves as well as how society at large views us. Social anthropologists expound on the importance of group identity/tribal affiliations as a historical safety in numbers - it took teamwork to bring down the bigger mammals as well as bring in the autumn harvest. Once you were ostracized from the group, your chances of survival were greatly diminished.

Peer acceptance remains a factor in today's society, even while the innovative leaps which arise from individuals who break the mold remain a key to our dynamic economic growth. Individuality has increasingly become a prized attribute once the basics of food, shelter, & clothing have been accounted for.

So why should I be troubled by this push to single out American Muslims? Well, because it's not being done to applaud our ingenuity or intelligence, but rather based upon the notion that "otherizing" us will make it easier to discriminate against us. If we're not American enough, then we don't deserve the civil liberties accorded to each citizen under the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.

But whose definition of American are we using? Even when I showed my US passport prior to check-in at an airline ticket counter in Arizona recently, the ticket agent earnestly advised me to obtain a visa in order to re-enter America upon my return journey (to & from Canada.) "But I'm an American," I kept insisting to her. "I have a US passport."

The level of anti-Muslim hysteria in America seems to be growing rather than diminishing post 9/11. In the past year of participating in book presentations associated with the publication of The American Muslim Teenager's Handbook, my teenagers & I have had the unique opportunity to field questions from a cross-section of Americans - from students to seniors, from religious youth groups to lawyers, from interfaith activists to cynics.

The number one question asked by my fellow Americans is always the same: "Why don't Muslims speak out against/condemn the acts of 9/11?" Seven years later, this question remains the biggest complaint against Muslims. Irrespective of our continual response - "Muslims did speak out, you just never heard us" - what more can we do to convince the average American that Muslims did not condone 9/11, that Islam is a religion of peace, that American Muslims believe in democracy and civil rights for all people? It's clear that mainstream America hasn't heard us, even though many of us continue to emphatically denounce 9/11, but we need to move beyond the definitions of who we are not in order to better articulate who we are.

More troubling is the latest round of e-mails which seek to invalidate any Muslim spokesperson based upon the vastly misunderstood notion of "taqqiya". I'm a Muslim, and I had never heard this term until last year, when someone from the audience during a book presentation said, "I know you're lying because your religion tells you to deceive non-Muslims until you've taken over the world."

Hmm, where in the Qur'an is this claim made? Verse 16:106 - "Whosoever denies having once believed, unless he is forced to do so... will suffer the wrath of God" - is twisted to support the claim that the Qur'an encourages Muslims to lie, though the intent of this verse clearly states that the act of concealing one's belief in Islam is only permissible under threat of torture/death.

If you Google this term, it's illuminating to find a string of (anti-Muslim) websites which distortedly explain this concept in a manner intended to instill fear of all Muslims in the reader. Even Wikipedia and the Britannica encyclopedia weakly define this term, but still imply a level of deception on the part of Muslims. Yet no Muslim I've encountered believes that their religion condones, let alone demands, mendacity in any form.

Unfortunately, this rumor currently making the circuit only serves to cast suspicion upon the average Muslim who is asked to take part in an interfaith panel discussion or offer a presentation on Islam. So first, we were blamed for not speaking up. But clearly someone heard us, because now we're being accused of lying. Talk about a Catch-22. It's enough to make conspiracy theorists out of even the most naive optimists among us.

The mainstream media is largely silent on this topic. Maybe it hasn't hit their radar yet. Maybe it's just too confusing, especially to an outsider. Or maybe they're still stuck on the first "W" of journalism school (Who? What? When? Where? Why?) Instead of blaming al-Qaeda, somehow the entire Muslim population is in the cross-hairs. But that doesn't mean we should stop trying to reduce the misconceptions about Islam which abound across America.

The excuse that "I'm not a scholar" or "I don't know what to say will no longer suffice. People are clamoring to hear from a Muslim - any Muslim - so speak up! Explain what little you know and admit what you don't. The important thing is to begin the dialogue. Because if we remain silent much longer, we'll find it's too late. All of us, especially Americans, given our history, should be concerned about attempts to polarize the populace - you never know when you will become the "other".

As Frederick Douglass so aptly put it, "No man can put a chain about the ankle of his fellow man without at last finding the other end fastened about his own neck." And no, I don't believe Barack Obama is a Muslim (he says he isn't and that's enough for me), but then again, when did passing a religious litmus test become a requirement for the highest office in our country?

Yes, its very frustrating to see these things happen and become the Other. At this time, I can only say that my perspective is that its not only that the American people did not hear us, its that they didn't want to hear what we said. Its a classic relationship problem: unmet expectations. We have a broken relationship with the American people. We mostly offered condemnations of 9-11 along with making excuses for why someone would do that (basically accusing the people we were talking to as nasty imperialists). Or, we said "Islam and the Quran condemn this act". The American people wanted to see action, not just mis-executed apologetics that were seen as self-protective in nature rather than coming from our rage that our own country was attacked.

I'm still not sure whether or not the American people were right to reject our apologetics or not. Like it or not, the first generation of immigrants will not be seen as Americans in a time of conflict. It will mostly be thier children and the converts who will be seen as Americans not because we simply carry a passport, but because we look, act and sound like Americans. Its not fair, but ALL immigrant groups have gone through this.

Also, everyone acts like they are Arab-Americans first, Pakistani-Americans first but then ask the American public to consider us as Muslim-Americans. We telegraph this schizophrenia of identity, and the American people can sense this about us and it decreases thier trust of any and everything we do or say.

Oh, and BTW, it would be nice to see that airline ticket agent get fired for being such a dork. Secondly, I've bought several copies of the American Muslim Teenagers Handbook for kids of freinds and they love it all around.

Peace,

Great points OmarG. I was raised Southern Baptist in TN, and realized something a few weekends ago while watching a documentary on the KKK. I grew up with people that said things like "Now, them fellars went to far, 'f course. Good Lord told us not to kill, but you gotta understand..." while they espoused the importance of not challenging the racist system that the KKK took it upon themselves to protect.

It struck me that Muslim apologies about 9-11 and terrorist violence sound very similar...

I didn't trust those that gave me couched disapprovals of people being drug behind pick-up trucks for talking to a white girl, and if I am to be fair, I cannot fault the typical American for not being satisfied with couched condemnations of 9-11.

Before I was a Muslim, I accepted those cushy two-faced un-apologies. I didn't see what choices people had- I was seething in anger about the injustices in the world.

But now that I am a Muslim, I realize that Allah has an angel taking notes during every back-room negotiation, that He is in total control, and if it looks like the Pharoahs of the world have it all, the reality is they may have little more than enough rope to hang themselves. The more I know about Islam, the more angry I get about terrorism, and the more upset I get about those that would defend it or make excuses for it.

9-11 was an act of kufar, in my book. A violent testament of a people that are so disbelieving that they are willing to even kill other muslims and aid corrupt governments in their stripping of the constitution rather than persevere until Allah shows them the way out. Suicide bombing is the same.

Al-Ghazali is reported to have said: "It is better to let a thousand disbelievers go unpunished than to risk hurting one Muslim."

As Muslims, I think its time to challenge those that give Janus disapprovals of such acts. If one wasn't convinced with 9-11 and the following acts in Madrid and London, the fact that these militant extremist tactics that merely use Islam for political purposes are now being used against masjids and stirring up sectarian violence should let even the deaf and blind among us know that this is not Allah's Way.

Its time for us to take on the spiritual arrogance that spawns isolationist and fundamentalist attitudes in our Sunday Schools, khutbas and publications. Its time to quit being intimidated by those that would have us believe that piety is being narrow, hateful and self-righteous. Its time to remind people that if they truly believe that America is an inherently evil place, they better pack up and move on, because the Qur'an is quite clear that the angels at the gate of hell will ask "Was Allah's earth not big enough for you to find another abode?"



A lot of Catch-22 double-talk is coming out of the community, backed up by hypocritical attitudes and actions... so can we really be surprised that its coming back to us? The day that we realize that the society around us is simply following our lead, things will change tremendously.

Have Americans got a twisted view of Islam? Maybe they've been sitting at our Imams' feet on Friday afternoons...

>> .. the fact that these militant extremist tactics that merely use Islam for political purposes are now being used against masjids and stirring up sectarian violence should let even the deaf and blind among us know that this is not Allah's Way.

Very well said. The ultimate end of all of these actions is a political goal and not a spiritual/religious goal. Actions are carried out in view of their perceived outcome and not in view of their righteousness in Allah's view. There is a political/social reality that is pressing. Saying Bismillah, quoting a few random ayats and doing what you would have done regardless of the truth is not the same is acting truthfully.

>> Its not fair, but ALL immigrant groups have gone through this.

And being Muslim, we can't claim to be above the functioning of society, only to involve ourselves in a positive/Islamic way.

>> A lot of Catch-22 double-talk is coming out of the community, backed up by hypocritical attitudes and actions... so can we really be surprised that its coming back to us? The day that we realize that the society around us is simply following our lead, things will change tremendously.

Well said.

>> because the Qur'an is quite clear that the angels at the gate of hell will ask "Was Allah's earth not big enough for you to find another abode?"

Ironic isn't it. Living in the "oppressors" land.

We Muslims should blame no one but ourselves for the public perception of us in the US. The backlash after 9/11 was expected and what should have followed is not simply condemnations and expressions of outrage, we should have taken the initiative and produced a comprehensive plan that would brand Islam and Muslims before Evangelicals and their Fox News cohorts got to do it. That did not happen, and Omarg is right in saying that this is partly because of the conflict between ethnicity and a religious identity, but he and others deeply misguided in believing that our path is similar (or even should be similar) to that of other immigrant groups. This is because the fate of previous waves of immigrants, like Catholics and Jews, has been assimilation. This fear is especially evident in the Jewish community, Abraham Foxman even went so far as to say that what is driving Jewish assimilation is that Jews are too comfortable in mainstream American society and so Jews who want to preserve their religious identity choose to immigrate to Israel. I have witnessed this firsthand since I live in Jerusalem and the vast majority of Jewish American immigrants are Orthodox who fear for the future of their kids' Jewish identity. How is this relevant to us as Arab Americans, no, Muslim Americans (I kinda still haven't resolved that myself). Well its important because in order to avoid that fate, we need to strike just the right balance between between being accepted in American society, but not to the point where we feel completely at home in American culture because the reality is that some things are just irreconcilable. The first step that needs to be taken is actually something I read in a great article in Islamica magazine, in it Firas Ahmed calls for a book designed for the general public about Islam to be written by a Muslim scholar, this I think would do more good than all the denouncing statements Muslims have issued these past few years.

Nadia86, I think you are talking about Arab Americans and not Muslim Americans. I have no clash with American society. I am American. Period. Always have been always will be. I feel at home here like I feel no where else. I struggle just as any believer of any faith does to keep my mind and heart pure, but that is a struggle that I would be waging in any country in the world, not just here.

America is second only to India in the role that religion plays in daily life. That means that religion plays a greater role here than it does in any Muslim country or in Israel. This is not a nation of unbelievers. Can you imagine a European political party saying "God bless you all!" after all of their speeches during a national convention? It wouldn't happen.

America has done more than any other country in the world to create a level playing field regardless of family ethnicity or background. You may be a foreigner, but your kids are Americans. That doesn't happen anywhere else- you'll live there 10 generations and still be seen as outsiders. We still have a lot of work to do, yes. But we are trying.

We have a fair wage act. We have freedom of press, freedom of religion, freedom of speech. Men are taken to court if they don't respect women in the workplace and/or treat them like sex objects. What Muslim countries have those things? I can't even find a masjid here that has that! :)

As far as I can see, Allahu alim, this country is the most Islamic country going when it comes to the core values of Islam: equity, freedom, justice.

The Catholics and Jews before us not only found their place in American society, they affected change in their international faith communities. Changes that were long coming in my opinion. I have confidence that American Muslims can do the same. Its time.

As for the fundamentalists that are worried about Americanization- my experience with fundamentalists of all stripes is that they NEED to be in conflict with those around them, they NEED to isolate themselves, they NEED to bemoan how terrible everyone else is and how good they are, they NEED to exert power over others. They NEED it. They live in the Us vs. Them paradigm (which I see as the realm of the ego) So no matter where they are- here, Mecca, a cave in Afghanistan, or the moon, they're going to be miserable and convinced the whole world is going to hell in a handbasket. Its their M.O.

We CAN NOT raise our children with the idea that they should never be at home in American culture. That's schitzophrenic. A tree that fights the soil it is planted in will never bear fruit. Like God didn't create this country like He created all others? What American culture are you talking about????? The one that says you can be anything you want to be if you work hard enough? The one that says that you can have a personal relationship with God? The one that says that freedom is essential to life? What exactly? If your kids are watching MTV and wanting to dress like street hos that's not American culture- that's MTV and its around the world. Teach them to think. That's a parent's job.

I live in Phoenix AZ and wear long sleeves in the summer time and no one looks at me strangely. Why? Because I do it in an American way. I wear a swimshirt and boardshorts to go swimming- so everything is covered, but no one looks at me. Why? Because I'm doing it the American way. Because I sort through what is popular and pick that which matches my personal standards. It is not a irreconcilable conflict, its a negotiation. Like everything in life: its part of our purpose- ultimately its the negotiation between body and spirit that is the human experience, so its only logical that we would spend our lives negotiating other pairs...

There are thousands of sub-cultures in this country. No one with any sense believes the TV and magazines portray life as it is. Everyone negotiates their own space. Just like you wouldn't eat all your meals from the drive thru at McDonanlds, don't take all your culture from the first thing advertisers throw in your face. That's common sense.

I think one thing that is being overlooked that Zalfalaq almost touched upon is this: assimilation is a 2-way street. As we assimilate into society, not only do we become Americans, but America becomes slighlty more Islamic, or at least becomes comfortable with Islamic ideas and practices. Nothing is 1-way; there is always an *exchange*. Sometimes, we do not control the exchange, but sometimes we have some or considerable influence depending on our strengths, the appeal of the Islamic idea, or the fitfullness of the idea in satisfying an American social or cultural need.

How many Italians ever thought that after being excluded and discriminated against in the early to even the mid-20th century, would have thought that Italian design and spaghetti would be as American as apple pie?? Not my grandparents, that's for sure. Thus, I disagree with Nadia: Muslim ethnic groups ARE the same as every other immigrant group. Our only specialness is what we do (per the Quran) not who we are. As Zalfalaq said, its about maintaining our spiritual purity no matter what culture we live in.

PS, I know what you mean about clothing in Arizona as a fellow Arizonan :-)

In fact, I think I was talking about both communities, I reject the implication that I am some ethnocentric Arab who looks down on American culture. I love America, I spent the first ten years of my life in the states before my parents decided to move back home to Jerusalem and I plan to go back to Texas soon. I've always considered myself Arab American, not just because of my citizenship but more importantly because of my awareness and appreciation of the opportunities America has given my family. Yet despite this I am not blind to the inherent contradiction between American culture and the Islamic faith. I don't mean the wonderful American ideals of freedom and self-reliance, in fact, it is because of these values that I look forward to going back to the states, and it is absolutely true that in no other country in the Western world can Muslims (and yes even Arabs) feel like they truly belong- the term French Muslim still sounds like an oxymorone to me. Zalfalaq, you and Omar seem to be romanticizing contemporary American culture as congruent with a Muslim way of life, exactly how does the celebration of homosexuality and promiscuity fall in line with basic Islamic values??? I'm no religious nut with kids to worry about, quite the opposite actually, I'm just a student and am having a hard time fully embracing my faith, but in the process I will not delude myself by believing that Islam and Western culture- which I am steeped in (I go to a Jewish university)- are fully compatible. That doesn't mean that they are always at conflict and they have nothing in common, they do and they can coexist, but the limits must be recognized. Your assertion, Zalfalaq is true, Catholics and Jews have indeed found their place and are deeply embedded in American culture, but at what price? I'll tell you, they are bemoaning that fact, well to be honest I'm not sure about Catholics- though Bill Donohue is always pretty mad- but I am very familiar with the Jewish American community and I can say with certainty that they are paying a hefty price for their "place in American culture". I respond to Omar by saying that we are NOT nor should we even be like other immigrant groups, and quite frankly, to believe so is not only wishful thinking, but detrimental to our society at large.

Nadia, I don't think anyone, especially me, thinks you are being ethnocentric.

>>how does the celebration of homosexuality and promiscuity fall in line with basic Islamic values???

This is not the totality of American culture, and as you said it is "American ideals of freedom and self-reliance" so I think you already get that point quite well. But, the dilemma is that along with freedom for Arab-Americans must come freedom for other marginal groups like gays, whether we like it or not. So, pop culture affects the "real" culture, yes and there are incongruities between different modes of Muslim life and American pop-culture because of the consequences of freedom. However, we are just as free NOT to be promiscuous.

I already see this incongruity because I find it interesting you highlighted the sexual ethics part of our culture rather than others. I, personally would have highlighted the "Beer" culture which I find pretty annoying in my professional life. But, perhaps this is because sexuality is not such a central topic in my culture as it seems to be in Middle Eastern cultures. As long as I myself am obeying, I don't much care nor make it my business what others are doing in thier bedrooms.

>> ...the appeal of the Islamic idea, or the fitfullness of the idea in satisfying an American social or cultural need. How many Italians ever thought that after being excluded and discriminated against in the early to even the mid-20th century, would have thought that Italian design and spaghetti would be as American as apple pie?? <<

Really OmarG, from where do you come up with these dumbed down idioms. Let me guess, the 'American Muslim Teenager's Handbook'? Do look up "Hajibaba's American Muslim Book of Idiocies" on Amazon.com instead.

So let me see, not drinking alcohol or smoking, not sleeping outside of marriage, not dealing in usury, not gambling at casinos and lotteries, not walking around in your underwear in public, not gathering in massive mixed crowds in ballgames and rock concerts, no soft porn on TV, just for a start how is all this going to help "American social or cultural need"? *snickers* what culture will be left after you take all these out, he he he. *snickers*.

Only pizza and spaghetti will be left, and tacos. So in that sense you are right, the Italians will eventually come out on top. Or maybe baklava and shawarma instead, so 'Muslim culture' will prevail as well. Ha ha ha h hahahhaaa.

Omar, your comment regarding sexuality and Middle Eastern culture is extremely offensive. Instead of conceding that I have a point you chose to insult me and my people and play into an age-old stereotype about the predominance of sexuality in Middle Eastern- and especially Arab, culture. This is one of the most flawed misconceptions out there, and the reason I chose the examples of homosexuality and promiscuity is not because my culture is obsessed with them but because, in case you don't know, they represent some of the most flagrant violations of the Islamic code and they are the most repulsive to moral, traditional individuals regardless of their faith, I was simply trying to drive my point home. While it is true that the people committing these acts are usually not Muslims in America, the predominance of such examples and others which are antithetical to traditional beliefs of all peoples of faith is something which makes complete social assimilation very unappealing for American Muslims. And where do you come off equating the freedom of racial groups such as Arab Americans to the freedom of gays to marry and corrupt the very fabric of society? Freedom has its limits, it is not absolute, or else it would be worthless and a very substantial number of Americans disagree with you on that issue and are not far left-wingers, thank God. Again, the notion of Arabs as hedonistic creatures is very offensive and outdated and I think it's ridiculous that you would say that. You might also want to consider changing your name since Omar is about as Arab and Middle Eastern as a name can get!

Sister, I did not intend for it to be offensive, so please accept my apology. I am merely making an observation about what difference you yourself chose to focus on about my culture and Islamic morals. I can't truly say what it means that you chose this topic to focus on, but I think my interpretation of it is worth considering given the limited information I had from your statements.

>>most flagrant violations of the Islamic code

I think that is a culturally based view. Compare the other flagrant violations of Islamic morals such as oppressing the orphan and the like which seem to be much more emphasized than sexuality, which gets very, very little mention. I propose that culture influences us to decide which is more of a flagrant violation. In this case, I *don't* think the difference is between Arab and American, but with traditional-minded conservatives and less-traditionalist liberal mind sets.

And, yes indeed, if one group wants freedom to wear hijab, how can anyone, under an American legal and cultural framework of freedom and privacy deny one while permitting the other?? That's not rationally consistent because the basic framework of freedom is not letting government tell us how to live. Arab-Americans may campaign hard (rightfully) to preserve religious freedoms in public, and you can be sure the LGBT groups will campaign harder and are much, much more organized and numerous. What kind of governmental oppression would you propose? Maybe next time after you get rid of rights for them, maybe Hindus next? Where does it end? No, the solution is to uphold freedom for all, because the next freedoms that may be taken way might be yours. And then what?

So, you and I don't have to accept LGBT lifestyles, but as Americans we do accept that they are free to do what they want, too. And last time I looked, contrary to the Evangelicals, the sky hasn't fallen because gays have relationships nor because I pray to God in salaat.

This was really a much needed breath of sweet air for me.
Muslims being allowed to be Muslims in America withou getting torn apart for their americanness.

I have been saying a long time- that Muslims need to define themselves before others do it.

Whatever blogging I do (and it is kind of a new thing for me, 2 years) I do on a blog for Washington Post called OnFaith.
Because I don't want to sit around people that already agree with my ideology- (although not often, in here) but I feel like it is a responsibility to talk and be patient and keep talking and keep answering the same accusations and misconceptions over and over again.

After 2 years, I see people using my words to stick up for Muslims- people who were attacking me 2 years ago.

Active conversations and real actions that vaidate us are needed.
NO more books and public relations movies-
Who will read those books?


Zalfalq made some really true and honest statments-
Ghulam said-
"And being Muslim, we can't claim to be above the functioning of society, only to involve ourselves in a positive/Islamic way."

Well said-

Nadia- you stated-
" homosexuality and promiscuity...in case you don't know, they represent some of the most flagrant violations of the Islamic code and they are the most repulsive to moral, traditional individuals regardless of their faith,..."

I am a person of faith -
Homosexuality and promiscuity may be the most repulsive to you-
but it is so far down on my list of outrages- it is almost barely noticed-

Here are some of the repulsive immoral violations of Islam to me-

Prisons- and prisons filled wth brown and black men-
Homelessness-
Violence against women and children
Violence against innocents- like Sept 11-
Apathy, complacency and indifference and neglect
People who try to coerce and control and force others to tow their own particular chosen line- ideologically, racially, politically, socially---

Promiscuity and homosexual activites have to be imagined in one's mind for them to exist-
you don't see it- you are not witnessing the activites- you have to imagine them to make them a visible reality- it is too much effort to conjure up images to rage against when there are so many more pervasive and in front of our faces-like the other things I mentioned.

And they are crimes of people against themselves- 1 victim crimes-
and the victimis themself- so it is very very difficult for me to victimize them again with my anger, or disapproval of their very being.

As my grandmother used to say in regards to people who would gossip about others who drink, or flirt- or whatever.

She would say, I would rather know a man whose vices I can see, it is the ones whose vices are hidden deep in their hearts that are the real danger.

I just checked in on my site-


Here is the new question-

Does Religion Empower Women?
The theme of The Women's Conference 2008 this week is We Empower. Does religion empower women?



http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/ is an interfaith international blog devoted to dialoue and promoting understanding-


here is the very first response-

No,no,no.Religion/Cult doesnt empower women,especially,islam
-enslaves women
-oppresses women
-subjugates women
-plays with woman's dignity
-makes woman second,even third class citizen
-is misogynist

It doesn't get any better- but will get worse-
If anyone wants to comeon in and give a supporting word- you are welcome- I post under my first name- I am easy to spot- I'll be the lone muslim.

At least they didn't put Islam in the title this time.
Any Muslims want to help me define Muslims there, for america?
peace all

Nadia- I realized after reading it that you may think I was making some unkind referecne or judgement of how you practice or your own priorites.
Please be sure that I was not- your words were only a catalyst to my own thoughts-
I just don't have it in me to condemn anyone- small deliberate things seem to bother me more- the big compulsions though- I have very good reasons for it. That is all I can say right now.(NO, I'm neither promiscuous nor gay, now or ever.) I just don't want to hog the blog too much and once I get to rambling...Hajibaba will attest to that :)

>> So let me see, not drinking alcohol or smoking, not sleeping outside of marriage, not dealing in usury, not gambling at casinos and lotteries, not walking around in your underwear in public, not gathering in massive mixed crowds in ballgames and rock concerts, no soft porn on TV, just for a start how is all this going to help "American social or cultural need"? *snickers* what culture will be left after you take all these out, he he he. *snickers*.

This is the hypocritical muslim mentality that keeps on coming up. The idea that America is redeemable, but generally depraved and promiscuous nation. Its the commoners morality, that while non-existant at times and very very prejudiced in its view, has no problem consuming American literature/art/ideas/goods/services ... and heck .. why not just move there and make some money and use adopt its liberal human rights too! I am seriously tiring of the likes of Hajibaba who prefer being ignorant and passing random comments than bridging divides and having honest conversations. And what's worse is that people like these affirm "Islamic" but never express what Islamic is. Why? Probably because they don't really know/care in the first place.

Nadia86 >> Your assertion, Zalfalaq is true, Catholics and Jews have indeed found their place and are deeply embedded in American culture, but at what price?

But you're the one defining what Catholics really are, and Jews really are, and Muslims really are. Instead of letting people own choices decide who they are, it becomes a matter of what you think they should be. In that vain, you are correct to say that Homosexuality is not easily acceptable in Islam, but you are incorrect in assuming that Americans are either homosexual or that the culture of Americans is anti-Islamic.

Cutlure does not define anything or anyone. It is a snapshot of a society at a given point in time. It does not define the people. The people construct the culture. Luckily for you, everyone has a place in it. Your attempt to reconcile the society with what you think is acceptable undermines your role and place in that society.

You are part of a nation that exercises choices. You too exercise choices as a member of that society i.e. The ability to exercise your choice and influence other peoples choices. Defining others (values, identity, culture) or their choices, by that very token makes it impossible for them to choose. You are also placing a label of Islamic before trying to understand the term. Just like MrsA points out, your imagined view of the immorality of homosexuality in society is far from what it is, and similarly detracts from the actual scoial issues which do exist. Which is why Muslim nations freak out at the sight of a womans face on the billboard but have no problem with family abuse. i.e. Imagining promiscuity but having blinkers on with regards to actual social violence.

I think that the real issue here is a difference in tradition and upbringing, I was raised in a very traditionalist Arab community, both here and in the US and it seems that both you, Mrs.A and OmarG advocate a view of Islam that is more grounded in social activism which may stem from being immersed in a non-traditionalist society.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, I think its great, and its very interesting because, yet again, the paralells with Judaism are obvious- a reform minded, tikun olam approach versus a conservative outlook that emphasizes religious observance and peity above all.
And btw, >> So let me see, not drinking alcohol or smoking, not sleeping outside of marriage, not dealing in usury, not gambling at casinos and lotteries, not walking around in your underwear in public, not gathering in massive mixed crowds in ballgames and rock concerts, no soft porn on TV, just for a start how is all this going to help "American social or cultural need"? *snickers* what culture will be left after you take all these out, he he he. *snickers*.

OMG that is sooo funny and it makes my point that some things are just too inherently different to be bridged.

>> OMG that is sooo funny and it makes my point that some things are just too inherently different to be bridged.

>> *snickers* what culture will be left after you take all these out, he he he. *snickers*.

The differences are in your head. They can and have accepted you and your family and offer you the freedom to be yourself and enjoy the benefits of their developed economy. You have happily accepted and enjoy that benefit. Yet how can you benefit a society that you feel is too different to bridge? As if they aren't human beings and haven't extended substantial benefits/kindnesses to you. It is not funny. It is a cruel and hypocritical statement.

>> I think that the real issue here is a difference in tradition and upbringing, I was raised in a very traditionalist Arab community, both here and in the US and it seems that both you, Mrs.A and OmarG advocate a view of Islam that is more grounded in social activism which may stem from being immersed in a non-traditionalist society.

What complete utter nonsense. Where and how you're raised certainly does have an influence on you. But at some point you have to grow up and deal with the world you live in. Exercise your own choice. The notion that MrsA or OmarG or other Muslims, don't value taqwa or aren't concerned with religious practice .. because they're not "traditional" and are too involved with social activism is completely bogus.

>> I've always considered myself Arab American, not just because of my citizenship but more importantly because of my awareness and appreciation of the opportunities America has given my family.

I couldn't have said it better myself. Without your "apprecition of the opportunities", you have no respect for Americans themselves and do consider them promiscuous, gambling, alchoholics. In your view, there is no humble American who is modest or has good and proper family values ... aside from you. Your life in the US is a business transaction.

I strongly agree with OmarG. While we as Muslims in America, find the mentality, behavior of the LGBT despicable and deplorable, their fight for Civil Liberties, is just as much a fight for the next groups Civil Liberties.

Surely the Evangelical, racists, extreme groups would love to see every Jew, Muslim, Hindu and every other religion, along with America's many immigrants extinguished from this country. So the fight for one groups Civil Liberties, is the next groups victory. An easier path, perhaps to insure that next groups rights are preserved.

Muslims are very vulnerable in America. We don't have one voice and one culture. We're not known as one people, unlike the Italians, Jews and Catholics. Although these groups are really not united, they give the perception that they are. They have basic common understandings, that they use as the driven force for cohesiveness. There political and philosophical causes have the appearance as being strong as a result. We have to get busy with uniting with some common understandings.